From Jeanine Czubaroff (2000) Dialogical rhetoric: An application of Martin Buber's philosophy of dialogue, Quarterly Journal of Speech, 86:2, 168-189, DOI:
10.1080/00335630009384288
In the dynamic of experiencing the other side and yet being true to his or her own lived experience, the dialogical [person] forges again and again an "unreserved" or "authentic" personal response in thought, speech, and action. Unreserved response is closely related to personal honesty, truth, and openness. Writes Buber, "Whatever the meaning of the word 'truth' may be in other realms, in the interhuman realm it means that men communicate themselves to one another as what they are." The unreserved speaker does not say "everything that occurs to him" or her, and does not let him or herself go before the other, but s/he does resist the impulse to cultivate or convey false impressions. The essence of unreserve, then, is that we grant to our partner "a share in our being" and, for Buber, where such unreserve is not present, "neither is the human element itself authentic" (El, 77). Closely associated with unreserve is the willingness and courage to "stand one's ground."...
An essential difference between the unreserved or "self-exposing" person who proceeds from what she or he is, and the reserved or "self-withholding" person who proceeds from what s/he wishes to seem, is that the former has "confidence in being" (El, 75-78), while the later fears the risks and responsibilities entailed in genuine engagement with another (I, 29). Importantly, unreserved response, like imaging the other's reality, builds trust, for, we know where the unreserved person stands and, knowing that, we experience them as "trustworthy."
A further consequence of the practice of imagining the other's reality and unreserved response to another is that one's partner feels safe enough to permit differences and conflict to emerge...
No comments:
Post a Comment